This blog is a follow up to Honesty is Great...But What About Accountability. At the time of writing that^ blog, I had no idea what a detention at my son’s school actually looked like. I assumed it’d be similar to my own (one-time!) experience back in the day- sitting in silence, maybe doing some homework, and not much else. Turns out I was very wrong. After his detention, I received an email from the school explaining that part of their process is to send parents a copy of the student’s reflections- a four-page file was attached. I opened it, expecting a generic response or maybe something scripted. Instead, I was floored. As I read my son’s handwriting, I genuinely thought a teacher must’ve dictated the answers and he’d copied them down. But when I picked him up, I asked how detention went - and he walked me through the whole thing: how it was structured, what the form was for, and what he wrote. When I asked if anyone helped him fill it out, he said, “No. I just answered the questions.” I was blown away by his self-awareness. There was no deflection, or blaming others. Just honest reflection and ownership. So I told him what was true: “A lot of adults don’t know how to do that.” And it got me thinking: If we want honesty paired with accountability in our workplaces… Is the real missing link the art of reflection ? I’d love to invite you to read snippets of his detention form here (shared with his permission, of course). 👉 Click to see the form here Now, like I said, his answers were great (especially for a child). But he didn’t get those words out of thin air. It was due to the quality of the questions. The school did a beautiful job of crafting prompts to encourage insight and accountability- without tipping into shame. This detention wasn’t about punishment. It was a learning opportunity. And that is the art of reflection; knowing how to sift through your actions, understand how you can learn from it and make a better decision next time. (Side note: did you know that the purpose of memory isn’t to help us relive the past, but to prepare us for the future? That gem came from a brilliant podcast episode by Dr Rangan Chatterjee- worth a listen if you’re curious about how our brains are wired. Listen here 👂) If we want to build workplaces (and leaders!) that go beyond surface-level honesty, maybe we need to take a cue from this detention and start making space for reflection - with beautifully crafted prompts. Turns out, you can find leadership lessons in all sorts of places. Even in detention. Yours in leadership, Amy

Has honesty gotten in the way of accountability? Last week, I had a chance encounter with a business owner while buying something in his store. We got chatting about leadership after he asked what I did for a living, and halfway through the conversation, we landed on communication. He proudly shared how honest his team is with him, even offering an example: “If someone’s had a big night on Saturday,” he said, “they’ll message me on Sunday morning and ask to push their shift back. I’d rather they be honest than lie. It’s all good.” He meant it, too. He wasn’t annoyed — he was proud. And to be fair, also realistic about what life looks like for many of his younger employees. It reminded me of a moment, years ago, when I was leading a team and got a call on a Sunday morning. One of my staff told me she had food poisoning and couldn’t make her shift. My spidey senses were tingling — but hey, food poisoning happens. Who was I to question it? Then Monday rolled around… and so did the “Nite Life” photos. There she was, front and centre in a Saturday night club pic. Clearly not food poisoning — just a hangover and a sick day to recover. So here’s my question to you: Do you want your team to be honest with you? I know — it’s a nuanced question. And like most of my newsletters, I’m not here to give answers, but to nudge you to think differently. Here’s what I’ve been reflecting on: Honesty is a double-edged sword. It can sound like: “I’m overwhelmed and don’t think I’m doing a good job.” “I find our team meetings pointless and I tune out.” “I’m not motivated by the way this role is structured.” “I went out last night, I’m hungover, and I need to start a bit later.” And while every one of those may be true, here’s the real kicker: What happens to accountability when we blur the line between honesty and obligation? If someone can repeatedly shift their responsibilities around because “at least they’re honest about it,” are we unconsciously lowering the bar? Are we accidentally building workplaces where honesty becomes a free pass — instead of a foundation for growth? So what does a healthy, honest culture actually require? A team member who’s willing to speak up with truth — even when it’s uncomfortable. A leader who responds with trust — and expects responsibility in return. And a culture that still holds people accountable when trust is broken. A real life example where honesty meets accountability: This week, one of my sons received his first-ever detention. He hadn’t handed in his maths homework — not once, not twice, but three out of four times. And while he’s a good kid and owned up to it (no “the dog ate it” excuses), the school still issued a detention. And you know what? I respect that. Because actions — even honest ones — still come with consequences. That’s the lesson I want him to learn: Being honest doesn’t make you exempt from responsibility. And that applies at home. In schools. And absolutely in the workplace. Somewhere along the way, we moved from “Leave your home life at the door” to “Bring your whole self to work”. And I’ll be the first one to raise my hand and say I have encouraged the latter. But has that pendulum swung too far? Have we started encouraging people to use their personal life as a reason for letting go of responsibility? Have we confused “I’d rather they be honest” with “I’ll let it slide” ? Because here’s the truth: Honesty isn’t meant to lower the standard — it’s meant to clarify expectations. So when someone says, “I had a big night,” maybe the answer is: “Thanks for telling me. Let’s talk about what that means for your responsibilities.” Because honesty without accountability? That’s just tolerance. And leadership without consequences? That’s not leadership — that’s just hoping for the best. Yours in leadership, Amy

Every winter, like clockwork, I disappear. I log out of all social media platforms and allow myself to disconnect from the endless scrolling. At first, it felt like rebellion. Now, it feels like restoration. My intention is always to give myself space — to dream, to create, and to think without the noise. The timeframe this takes varies each year. But I never regret it. If you’ve ever been to one of my workshops, you’ve likely heard me mention one of my favourite authors — Johann Hari. In Stolen Focus, he writes: “The truth is that we are living in an attention crisis. Our focus didn’t collapse. It was stolen.” (Seriously — if you’re a parent, this book should be required reading.) We are wired for deep thinking, slow moments, and meaningful connection. Yet we live in a world that constantly nudges us toward distraction. The endless scroll isn’t just stealing our time — it’s reprogramming our brains. From presence to fragmentation. That’s why I consciously log off in winter. To be present. To retrain my brain not to seek constant stimulation. To reduce the cognitive load. To remind myself that it’s okay to switch off. It’s a form of leadership too. Because leadership starts with self-awareness — with knowing when to lean in, and when to pull back. It’s modelling something healthier: that rest, recalibration, and offline connection are not indulgent — they’re essential. In Lost Connections, Hari reminds us that one of the greatest predictors of wellbeing isn’t productivity — it’s connection. Not digital. Real. So let me ask you: does your life allow space for that? If you’ve been feeling scattered, tired, or like your thoughts don’t even belong to you anymore… Consider this your permission slip. Switch off. Log out. Go quiet. Let winter teach you to slow down. There’s strength in stillness — and clarity in the quiet. Yours in leadership, Amy

You know the feeling. You’ve finally found your rhythm at work, and then—boom—your kid wakes up sick. Again. You cancel. Reschedule. Log in from the lounge room. And somewhere in the middle of the juggle, you start to wonder: Am I unreliable? Are people sick of me being “out again”? Is this just not working anymore? No one may have said it—but that internal noise is loud. And while it’s easy to point to outdated systems (and yes, they often are outdated), this is also a moment for something else: healthy ownership . Let’s name what’s true: 👉 You’re not unreliable — you’re needed in two places at once. 👉 You’re not failing — you’re adapting in real time. 👉 You’re not alone — the data backs you up: The numbers tell the story: 📊 73% of couple families with dependants have both parents working. 📊 In single-parent families , 76% of parents are working — with no backup. 📊 Most of us don’t have a partner at home full-time, or extended family on call. Just us. Doing our best. Everywhere at once. Stats from: Australian Bureau of Statistics, 2024 But here’s the thing: It’s not just about being seen or supported. It’s also about how we lead ourselves through this. Healthy ownership sounds like this: ✅ “I’ll do what I can to support my family’s health and explore backup care if it’s accessible - but I’ll also give myself grace when things don’t go to plan.” ✅ “I’ll keep my team informed when I need to step away.” ✅ “I’ll be clear on what I can do while working from home—and honest about what I can’t.” ✅ “I’ll look at how we, as a team, can build a culture of mutual trust and backup—not burnout.” For leaders: 💡 Are you unintentionally expecting people to operate like they have full-time support at home? 💡 Do your systems help people be honest about capacity—or push them to mask it? 💡 Are you modelling what it looks like to show up with clarity and compassion—even when things don’t go to plan? The goal isn’t perfection. It’s leadership—in real life. Whether you’re managing a business, a team, or just yourself—you get to set the tone for how challenges are navigated. The systems may still be catching up—but you don’t have to wait for them to shift before you lead differently.  With winter approaching… Let’s stop pretending people can be in two places at once. Let’s stop measuring reliability by how rarely someone takes time off. And instead—let’s lead with clarity. 🧭 Know what you’re responsible for. 📣 Communicate early and honestly. 🤝 Support others the way you’d want to be supported. Whether you’re managing a business, a team, or just trying to hold it together day by day— this is leadership in real life. Yours in leadership, Amy Willis

And it's making you take things way too personally.

As a leadership consultant, I’m always on the lookout for real-life examples that illustrate the principles of leadership in action. The other day, I had the pleasure of watching one of my sons try out for an academy soccer team. Little did I know, the coach’s comments during the session would offer some profound insights into everyday leadership.

"Adversity doesn't discriminate; it introduces us to our strength." - Unknown

For every difficult conversation you put in the ‘too hard basket’ this sign gets bigger and bigger to the rest of your organisation.

Last night I had the honour of speaking at Women in the Built Environment's first birthday party. My talk about 'Permission to Lead' was so well received that I wanted to share it with you all.